Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Save money or enjoy life?

Finding the Balance

Many of us spend the most of our money having a good time or buying many things that we don't really need.However, (comma) if accidently something happens and we immediately need money, we would will (1st conditional) be in a very difficult position. Although saving money could be something very useful, (comma) we shouldn't overdo (one word) it because then if we spend the most of our day trying to save money, we would will not be able to enjoy life .

Saving money is something really important because you can avoid problems that otherwise you couldn't. For example, if you have a health problem and you need money, you can give up your savings, so then you wouldn't need to get into debt. Also, you could save up money to offer them it to your children or grandchildren, (commas) like many people do, to make their lives easier.

On the other hand, you should also enjoy life, (commas) as well, in order to be healthier and happier. You could spend your money to make the quality of your life better, (comma) like learn a language or an instrument. It's also true that many people need wish the money to go travelling to other countries.It's really important for people to have fun and spend their time constructively.

To sum up, I don't really think that we should only focus on saving money or on enjoying life. Both of them must be in balance because that way we can avoid many problems and also enjoy life and then we'll be happier.

Content and Development
Organization and Connection of Ideas
Linguistic Range and Control
Communicative Effect

Your average mark is 3/5, Chris (C). And I was lenient! Be more careful next time and avoid short forms in essays.

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